Monday, May 30, 2011

memorial day

I wore my 'We Will Prevail" tee shirt all day long.  I am a very patriotic sort.  There are all kinds of red, white and blue images dotting our interior and exterior scapes.
A crazy storm blew in around 4:30 am, shattering the fragile peony blooms.  Consequently, the house is awash in color and fragrance.  It's just wrong to leave those blossoms strewn on the ground!
My favorite peeps came over for food -
When this child smiles the sun peeks out from any cloud, but there is no competition - she is THAT luminary!  And my mom, a new widow - making her way - simply extraordinary in her 80's -
uh oh!  Caught in the middle of a fruit salad!   Mom, you are gorgeous and a complete power of example to your family.  We are making our way into this strange new land without our patriarch.  

 As Father's Day approaches we steady ourselves and think of better times.  For me, the old nightmares return in a relentless parade - my father, alone in his hospital bed, left for so many days, weeks, months, even years, in a nursing home - slowly freezing into place.  He was a veteran and I think of him today.  And always.  And then I remember that life persists and goes forward and that the proof is in my back yard -
Where girls and dogs congregate and smiles are plenty.  Reasons to be grateful.
Those lost to us are never far from view   -  
 Scott and his brothers are taking turns housing 'dad' - he's already been on a golf trip this year with a fishing excursion to follow.  This is what we have - the memories, the happy thoughts, the backward glimpse of what was.  Scott and I are learning to make our way through this terrible terrain.  We are discovering that it is not only ok to weep, it is cathartic.  So we spend more time sitting together at the end of the day, speaking the quiet truth of a good day, a not-so good day.
May your Memorial Day be memorable.  With the good over-riding the not-so-good!


Suz said...

bless you

Zoey said...

beautiful post. You have a lovely family.

Michele Bilyeu said...

Oh, a lovely, lovely way to post about your day, your family, your memories..and yes, your loss. I share with you so much, but the loss of the father of the clan, the patriarch, our so very hard. Many hugs, prayers, and blessings go your way dear lady.

JelliDonut said...

This was lovely. Thank you so much for sharing it.

Delisa said...

Hello Jody, this post touched my heart very deeply. You have a lovely family and I am so glad you were able to have such a wonderful day together. I too have lived through this loss and I still feel my mother's and father's presence in everything I do. It has been 13 years since my mom died and 9 years for Dad, and the nightmare memories lost their grip with time and healing and have faded. I have come to a place where, when I close my eyes, I see them well and strong again. I never thought that would happen, but it is a special kind of joy and I know it will be that way one day for you as well. I can imagine that your father would be so happy to know that he remains such a cherished part of all your hearts. Delisa