Saturday, November 19, 2011

the holidaze draws near

With less than a week to Thanksgiving, I find myself scrambling.  This project needs to be finished today, wrapped and ready to deliver.
I'm stalling because the double welting that would finish this so nicely is daunting.  I need you, Pauline.  No one does welting like you do.
This is the little hat knit to wear with the baby shower sweater that I last posted.  It's about as cute as I can stand.  Into the mail it goes!  I can imagine an entire box filled with these little gems (in assorted gumdrop colors).
I frogged an old project to cast on a second Honey Cowl.  It's going to be plump and gorgeous.  I can envision someone tucking their chin into this loveliness on a cold wintery day.

My cashmere Avery is finished and it is my favorite 2011 knit.  I want one in every color, as long as the fiber is cashmere.  Obviously, I'll have to be satisfied with this piece alone!  Another view - and an opinion: MAKE ONE FOR YOURSELF!  
We had bad news this morning - an old friend has unexpectedly and suddenly passed away.  This event gives one pause.  I see by my mother's expression that the upcoming holidays are dragging on her heart.  And I cannot stop thinking about my father.  
I wake up every morning at 2:00 or 2:15am, the time that my father passed on. It's futile to attempt sleep after this.  Insomnia is not good.  
I made this little piece for my father and it hung next to his bed in the nursing home.  You know, you think that you are moving through your grieving process with dignity and a modicum of grace and certainly with reflection and prayer.  But the dreams - the dreams tell a different story.

My dreams, when they come, are vividly colored with small details that I'd overlooked - often dating back to the time when my children were very small, and then even further - to a time when I was a child.  It's impossible to make any sense of it, difficult to shake the remnants, the longing, that these dreams produce.    

Maybe it's just the "Silly Season", the first without my father, without my good dog Jack, without our friend Glenn.
I think that it is important to give in to the holiday season - to honor it in one's heart, in one's private authentic way.  This can be a task, especially when one is bombarded by Christmas jingles long before the Thanksgiving turkey has been consumed!  I begin by pulling out the projects that need to be finished -
What do you do to stay in the spirit, the true spirit of the upcoming holidaze?


jemfl said...

Yes,holidays always bring thoughts of
Mom and Dad, but good memories-like recipes how would Mom make apple pie! Happy Thanksgiving!

Suz said...

your handwork warms me to the bone...especially that baby sweater...oh so sweet in daughter is expecting another one..did I tell you? no I haven't told anyone yet...she is, in June
I have had a bit of sorrow this week myself, so I will send some luv your way in thoughts and prayer...I miss my daddy too...he passed suddenly at I am older than he was
I love your Christmas tree piecing
lovely color combo
You are so gifted.
sorry for your loss ,Jody

farmlady said...

I remember the first Christmas after my Mother passed away. I drove down to my sister's house, walked in the door and for what I thought was no reason, I started crying. It had been five months. Sis and I stood in the hallway, wrapped our arms around each other and cried together. No words... just grief and sadness. It takes a long time to let go. You think you're OK and then that sadness comes and sweeps you away for a while.
If you loved someone deeply the sadness may never go away but time helps and the hurt lessens.
I love the quilted piece that you made for your dad. Keep doing things. All of these activities really do help the grieving process.

Zoey said...

I imagine grieving must be the most difficult during the holiday season. My thoughts are with you, Jody, during this difficult time.

What a lucky little girl to be getting that hat/sweater set!

Delisa said...

Hi Jody! Your projects are so beautiful. They are exquisite and so delicate and detailed. You do some of the finest work I have ever seen!

I know what you mean about dreams. I have them too. My Mom and I were in a car accident when I was 13 and she was hurt badly. She was disabled and in terrible pain for the rest of her life. My father and I were her primary caregivers until she passed away when I was 37.

Then Dad passed away in 2002 of liver cancer. The dreams still surprise me with their emotion and I will wake up sometimes in fright or tears. I understand how disturbing it can be. But I truly believe that they are part of the grieving process and they do get better as time goes by. The first year after losing my parents was the most challenging for me. It was a real learning and growing time.

My heart goes out to you Jody and to your family. You sound like a very caring and loving family. You are moving through this process with grace and dignity. With Love, Delisa :)

Paulina said...

Oh, Jody. My heart is with you. My father left my world in 1993 and I still carry him on my shoulder. My toilet leaks and he is not here to fix it. I want him to build me a simple wooden step that I can cover in fabric for my feet to rest on while I am knitting. hmmmm.
I am knitting furiously for you. I don't know how you manage to produce so much. I just went through another magazine and found four new projects. I think that makes 35 projects I want to do. God almighty.....

Catherine said...

I'm sorry to hear about your dad's passing. It must be hard to get into the spirit of celebrating when one's heart is still grieving.

I guess that is when a cashmere Avery can bring a moment of comfort. It is beautiful ... I am working on my second one in wool. I quite love the pattern.

(The photos on my blog need to be put in ... my blog transfer from typepad didn't work successfully. I have been too busy knitting and haven't quite gotten around to straightening out the blog.)

Thanksgiving here (Canada) is celebrated in October which means that one isn't bombarded with Christmas stuff quite so soon.

Keep on making beautiful things.