Thursday, February 7, 2013

to love means to stay

"If a woman holds on to this gift of being old while she is young and young while she is old, she will always know what comes next.." C.P.Estes

 I've embraced this notion for many years, but I never saw my hard drive crapping out in a nano second - and with it my journal, my images, my years, my Daily Fiber.  While I wait for the new part to arrive I think about resurrection, about starting over. 

In 10 months I will pass into my sixth decade (God willing and the creek don't rise!)  ETR (estimated time remaining) is in my thoughts more than I care to admit.  I've developed insomnia this year and when I do sleep, my dreams are peppered with the grostesque, the fantastic, the horrifying.  I calm myself with thoughts of travel.  I tuck myself deeper into my down comforter, disturbing the sleeping cat, puff up my pillows which are covered in the softest linen, and I think about sleeping in a little Scottie trailer, a tiny tin airstream, somewhere out west, under the stars.  Everything that I need, I have.  And then it is morning.

I will be back!  Thank you for checking in on me.


Suz said...

hey, have you had your magnesium level checked? Could be a cause for lack of sleeping...check it out
magnesium.....very important to the body
Yes, keep going...hang in there..we wait as faithful followers...sorry to hear that you lost this stuff...can it be recovered?
Old,young...we are

Jody said...

hi Suz! I will definately heed your advice on the magnesium! Good to know, thank you! (zzzzz) I've missed you.
Jury is still out on my photos, etc. (sniff)

bea said...

Glad to hear you are well! Sorry you might have lost all your stuff on your computer! You can always come visit me here in Montana. I think that qualifies as West.

farmlady said...

There is something about this post that I connect with on a scary deep level. It gave me shivers down my spine.
I can only say that losing everything is what we do, in the end, so starting again is what we have to do while we're still here.
Although Suz might have a good idea with the magnesium.
Hope you retrieve the photos.

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