Monday, December 24, 2012

It seems, on this Christmas Eve, that our traditions are disappearing.  Or maybe this is life, on life's terms.  I am resistant though, to our family shrinking and scattering to all corners of the continent.  Our children, now young adults, have work schedules that do not include holiday sit-downs.  It is hard to feel connected.

I think that we need a few weddings and many babies to follow!  I want to see my family hunkered down around the harvest table, elbows rubbing, laughing, debating, sneaking scraps to the dog.  I want that fullness, that sense of everything-is-right-with-the-world that only comes with such a gathering.

Tomorrow we will journey to Connecticut to join my sister in New Canaan.  Andrew and Carson have to work, Hilary has the flu.  Matthew couldn't make it in from Santa Fe, BUT we will have Hadley and ourselves and mom.  It is enough.  It has to be.  No sense crying after some other arrangement - we have to move forward and create new traditions and share in the gratitude that we have what we have.  There, that's better.  On, on.  ( a little pep talk is good for the soul!)

There was no time to paint and washi the little clothespins - but they serve their purpose unaltered.  Perhaps I will paint them and give them festive jackets before I take them down.

And I am still working on gift tags!  Such addictive little pleasures.

The Christmas Banner is hung and a tree needs to be decorated.  The calamari is stuffed, the Spinach Rockefeller steaming and I am getting the carrot cakes out of the oven momentarily.

I took leftover carrots to the draft horses down the road and delighted Harley on my return with equine smells on my coat.  He's been following me around sniffing and trying to lick my sleeves! 

So, I am reporting from Empty Nest Central where we plod forward into this new territory, somewhat confused and bewildered by change.  Tonight we will honor the victims of Sandy Hook by placing a lantern at the end of the driveway.  " Imagine all the people, living life in peace ..."


Chrissy said...

Agree with you. Sort of miss the family get-togethers - everyone around Nana's table,(she'd wash the silver and pull out the fancy tablecloth and dishes...) My Pop, presiding at the head of the table in his oh-so-gentle way. All of us kids kicking and poking each other under the table and being pretty much just assholes...The fare was always predictable and comforting. Nana always made creamed onions and some sort of green bean and mushroom thing.

Yet we move on...We get older (hopefully wiser) and need to accept that things change...My Nana has Alzheimer's and probably wouldn't even know me if she saw me and Katrina has her own life now too. So I'm "free to be me" and yes, sometimes that leaves me spinning in empty crazy circles - but that's OK. My feet are firmly planted. I've replaced the dwindling existence of what I called family with a wonderfully amazing group of friends that are now my new family...(you are included BTW :)
Oh, and I'd love to bring you to the new book club that I joined. Truly awesome women and some stimulating intellectual intercourse. You'd love it.

Suz said...

Suz has a lot to say
..but right now she is cooking she will get back to you
...cause she gets this..really gets this....and is a tad sad...but the wheel of life turns nontheless...and we must find joy right now in this moment
....and Id like to join that club chrissy

Jody said...

Suz, we wold LOVE to have you!! xox